The Real Story of Our Mother

It baffles me how everyone can go on day after grueling day not ever having known my mother. What a crying shame!

I know everyone thinks that their mum is simply the best, but how many of you actually know it to be true, eh?

Here are the irrefutable historic facts:

Before the worlds were formed (or at least my world), God sat upon His majestic throne and thought on how He was going to manage a planet so diverse, full of people so passionate – yet prone to anger and stress! – and still cause good to come of it.

He turned to His sweet Son and said, “Life is gonna be tough, and it won’t be easy to catch a break. How will My children end up doing anything productive with their lives, or even survive?”

And Jesus said, “I have the best idea yet!”

God was all ears.

“Let’s make a being who understands tears, who soothes disappointments and calms all their fears.

“Someone who will share the joy that they feel, when something they’ve dreamed of is suddenly real.

“She, who’ll have faith to help them on life’s way, and inspire the confidence they need day to day.

“Let’s give her a heart of hope not abated, so they can know Your and her love are related.

“And last, but not least, give a love for Thee, and a trust sorrow cannot shake, that she’ll faithful be.”

God thought this was very wise advice. He also liked how Jesus always talked in rhymes and parables. And what was more, He knew that this angelic being Jesus spoke of creating would be the only way the mortals could exist! He stooped down and gathered up some angel dust from His very own robe of light, and shone His Almighty Glory upon it. And finally, He breathed the Breath of Life into my mother!

True story.

She’s a real nice lady. You’d love her!

I love you, Mum! Thanks for helping us get through our days still smiling, and inspiring us to make something good of our lives! Happy Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day! I got you a prezzie and I can’t wait to see you next month and give it to you! Mwah! xxx

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